I have just written a poem and for once I actually like it!
I Am The One Who Keeps You Alive And Broken Inside
Love, a burning passion turning into
Hate, commonly felt to those who
Hurt, with a numbing fear to
Non-live, trying to exist in
Negativity, to wanting someone else to
Care, giving others
Attention, that can never be
Enough, for giving up
Hope, someone that you can never
Have, to posses and
Want, a desperation sadistic need to feel
Pain, mentally in minds to make it feel
Physical, the need to have you
Closer, with my hands digging through your
Skin, ripping to shreds as I meet the
Soul, where your pulse began
Beating, and I start to
Clutch, squeezing life into my
Hands, forming a need for my
Presence, how I will never
Leave, your heart as it
Stutters, away from
Life, now I make you
Breathe, the same
Air, I made you
Choke, to remember that
I, am the one who pumps your
Heart, to keep you
Alive, and
Broken, inside.
All rights are mine, you will not take it.
Amy
P.S I am not to sure if the grammar is all correct, my Microsoft Word does not work anymore :(
Disclaimer: I do not own Microsoft Word.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Jerry Uelsmann
Hey! I have been searching the net when I came across an awesome photographer/artist, Jerry Uelsmann. The picture up there was the first one I came across while I was looking for pictures of scenery. Of course it took my eye and I found out who the soul Creator was, thus became my favorite photographer.
The way he does the art has so much meaning. To me, I think of this picture of a ladder to nowhere. To feel lost and abandoned. I don't know... it gives off a sad feeling.
To this one is between life and death.Like a new opening, a new beginning to start over. To me this gives hope. The wings and nest with eggs remind me of birds and how free they can be when they fly. This also seems like a break through, to be freed.
I don't really know how to say what this picture means in my mind. It's like your given a path when people expect you to drown, but you keep on moving to the exit. Unable to stop or change direction, it's like someone or thing is forcing you to move. It also makes me think of confusion and choices.
This one reminds me of wishing, wishing to be someone else and trying to be what some else wants you to be. It's like looking in a mirror and not knowing who you are.
Jerry has more pictures but these are some of my favorites and my opinion on them.
Well today is Christmas Eve. Am I excited? No. I'd rather not have Christmas, especially when I have to spend it with a stranger. Anyways I hope all you guys will have a happy holiday and I will see you later.
Amy
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these pictures
The way he does the art has so much meaning. To me, I think of this picture of a ladder to nowhere. To feel lost and abandoned. I don't know... it gives off a sad feeling.
To this one is between life and death.Like a new opening, a new beginning to start over. To me this gives hope. The wings and nest with eggs remind me of birds and how free they can be when they fly. This also seems like a break through, to be freed.
I don't really know how to say what this picture means in my mind. It's like your given a path when people expect you to drown, but you keep on moving to the exit. Unable to stop or change direction, it's like someone or thing is forcing you to move. It also makes me think of confusion and choices.
This one reminds me of wishing, wishing to be someone else and trying to be what some else wants you to be. It's like looking in a mirror and not knowing who you are.
Jerry has more pictures but these are some of my favorites and my opinion on them.
Well today is Christmas Eve. Am I excited? No. I'd rather not have Christmas, especially when I have to spend it with a stranger. Anyways I hope all you guys will have a happy holiday and I will see you later.
Amy
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these pictures
Emo Guys
So I have been browsing youtube and I discovered this guy named Sam Llansing and I saved I couple of pictures of him when I came across a site called Fake Busters (http://www.freewebs.com/vampirefreaksfakebusters/commonlyfakedboysn-z.htm)
And found a lot of pictures of guys that I could put in my emo hair videos on youtube. This is my first crappy video:
Thank god for youtube, it was taking forever for blogger to load. Stupid blogger.
Anyways, I'm going to post some previews on the pictures that are going to be in my next video.
That was a pretty boring post...
Amy
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these pictures or the pictures and music on the video.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
My First Opinion
Here is my first opinion I am about to post. It actually started out with a short story idea then I began rambling, so I'm just going to post the whole thing. Here you go:
You see that girl over there, that tall, curvy blond one, the popular girl that appears in every school? Yeah, she needs a psychiatrist.
Those girls’ fake pregnancies so they’re boyfriends will stay with them. Don’t you think that’s at least a little bit crazy? Or how they wear their shirts so low, their chest spills over and how short shorts and skirts they wear barely pass mid thigh even if there is a school dress code. They’re fake, loud laugh and caked on face full of clown-like make up, and one hour spraying and spreading numerous amounts of hair products on their head every single day for the yearly most popular guy.
It’s freaking insane.
So it’s just me standing here in my over sized dark clothing, observing how much help these girls really need.
Now let’s compare these popular girls to the outcasts, usually categorized as emo, goth, punk or druggies.
The ones that wear dark clothing, usually band tee’s and our curled up in a corner are emo’s. Of course this does not go for all the emo people out there, this is just an example. They probably wear those hand warmers that cover up your writs and all the people who don’t care or don’t realize always jump to conclusions that ‘oh, they must cut themselves’. Well, maybe they do. But they are the people who secretly yearn to be the center of attention even if they aren’t aware of it. The popular kids, mostly guys, tend to push around the emo people because they happen to be depressed because they do not get enough attention and therefore get even more depressed on how they’re life got worse caused by bullying. The thing is, a person is never truly themselves at school unless they feel completely at home, so they could have the worst life at home or the one of the best. Either way no one has a right to be mean and cruel to a person because he/she was having a bad day.
This is what causes suicide or school shootings. All because (mostly) the popular kids were only thinking of themselves and they’re social life instead. But another thing to think about is, what about the popular people’s problems? Of course not all of them would have the best family life. Just think of all the teenage soup operas out there about all the rich teens have problems with their overly selfish parents. Example from the popular series, Gossip Girl, Nathaniel’s parents have money problems and since Nate’s with Blair, (Note this is from the first season.) his dad thinks that when they get married, that Blair’s mother would have to help them because they would be legal family. But when Nate doesn’t like Blair anymore, his father forces him to continue dating her. Popular kid’s problems might be similar to that, like using their kids’ social status at school to gain money somehow… it still doesn’t give the popular kids a right to bully emo people, or anyone for that matter.
That’s why mostly emo people (or anyone) come(s) to school with a gun and shoot all the people that have ruined their lives. Then they shoot themselves. If they do that, then yeah, they might have a problem but maybe, like me, they keep everything inside without shedding any anger and then one day they can’t take it any longer and they just snap. And later feel bad for it, which would get them even madder.
Another thing bullying causes (for anyone), is self harming. I’m not picking anybody out, but it is usually emo or goth people. Lot’s of people, mainly parents, think the cause is the heavy, sad, screaming music they listen to. Maybe it is. But in the end it is always for a reason. And if you are a parent with a kid that self harms themselves, it MAY BE YOU FAULT AND/ OR IN YOUR CONCERN. I have absolutely no known idea what that really means. Well, one of the reasons they do it is because they’re lonely. They’re probably, depressed, confused, tired, angry, anxious, bipolar, and may hate their life. Parent, adults or anyone for this matter, DO NOT TELL THEM LIFE WILL GET BETTER! Why? Well then try it yourself! My mother does it all the time and all it does is piss me off so much, it’s insane. Try to put off being positive when they’re really in a negative, depressed mood. NEVER SAY YOU UNDERSTAND THEM. It also may get them really anger and will cause them to tell you hurtful things about you and will get you angry. Try to just stay with them for a while without talking. Only talk if they ask you. When they do talk they may open up and tell you that they have been cutting themselves. (You might already know that they cut themselves but let them talk). When they tell you this NEVER, I REPEAT, NEVER SAY THESE EXACT OR SIMILAR WORDS: YOU CUT YOURSELF. It makes them feel like crying from hearing the truth come out another person’s mouth and makes them feel pathetic and weak. They may get angry and will not want to talk to you. Anther thing to note is to not be sarcastic with them when they are telling you how they feel. When they are in one of their rare happy moods or whenever they are not sad, act more like a friend than a parent. It will also make them trust you way more than ever before, since they remember how happy and joyful you are to be around.
In one of an emos’ sad mood when they are telling they want to die (which might be for attention, just never tell them that you think so), or if they tell you they have problems and need help, NEVER SAY THEY ARE JUST FINE. THEY MAY THINK YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THEM IN THEIR SADDEST MOMENTS. Also, NEVER SAY THEY NEED HELP. THEY MAY THINK YOU THINK THAT THEY HAVE PROBLEMS AND YOU WANT TO SEND THEM AWAY. Though then if they truly need help, then how will you give it to them? I’d say one of the best ways to mention that they should see a mental doctor is when they are happy and only if you have ALL THE INFORMATION ON THE DOCTOR YOU WOULD WANT YOUR KID TO SEE. Have all the papers and make sure you have free time so you can maybe take your kid on a tour of the doctor office so you will maybe get your kid to meet the doctor. That may work, but it depends on the mood timing.
This is one more thing to note. When coming home from work or anything for that matter after when your kid has been left alone for the day (Or had a busy/bad day at school), try not to complain or be so-fake-it’s-easy-to-tell, try being calm and workless and just relax for a while. (I’m sure all of you love that idea.) You could talk to them, but try not to mention homework/school/your day at work until later, it may depress them. Maybe ask them what they might like for dinner.
Remember that something caused this depression and the main reasons are, divorce, family matters, loss, bullying, neglected, abuse, verbal abuse, cyber bullying, rumors, hormones, lack of confidence, and more. All of this stuff makes me extremely sad and I wish everyone could be happier.
I wish there was a place where we could be truly free and in harmony. But that is an impossible wish.
ANYWAYS I was ranting forever about emo people and whatever. It started out to be a story about a person who is watching popular girls. The point is that every kid has problems, some worse than others and some people refuse or are completely oblivious to it. Please just confront the problem and let everyone live lighter. Always be nice to someone even on the worst of your days. Guaranteed there might someone who will always remember your act of kindness and will try and be like you. It gives people hope and a will to live even if you don’t know it.
The reason I put “let everyone live lighter” is because when you are sad, depressed or guilty, you usually feel a heavy weight on your chest. Some people feel this every day which is why I want everyone to feel lighter. I just had to get that cleared.
Why I know all this information is based on what happened and how I feel through my life. I recommend trying this with your kids since the information is coming from a kid (me). So why not listen to what kids are saying? I think it’s worth a shot when you don’t know what to do.
Long enough, eh?
Amy
You see that girl over there, that tall, curvy blond one, the popular girl that appears in every school? Yeah, she needs a psychiatrist.
Those girls’ fake pregnancies so they’re boyfriends will stay with them. Don’t you think that’s at least a little bit crazy? Or how they wear their shirts so low, their chest spills over and how short shorts and skirts they wear barely pass mid thigh even if there is a school dress code. They’re fake, loud laugh and caked on face full of clown-like make up, and one hour spraying and spreading numerous amounts of hair products on their head every single day for the yearly most popular guy.
It’s freaking insane.
So it’s just me standing here in my over sized dark clothing, observing how much help these girls really need.
Now let’s compare these popular girls to the outcasts, usually categorized as emo, goth, punk or druggies.
The ones that wear dark clothing, usually band tee’s and our curled up in a corner are emo’s. Of course this does not go for all the emo people out there, this is just an example. They probably wear those hand warmers that cover up your writs and all the people who don’t care or don’t realize always jump to conclusions that ‘oh, they must cut themselves’. Well, maybe they do. But they are the people who secretly yearn to be the center of attention even if they aren’t aware of it. The popular kids, mostly guys, tend to push around the emo people because they happen to be depressed because they do not get enough attention and therefore get even more depressed on how they’re life got worse caused by bullying. The thing is, a person is never truly themselves at school unless they feel completely at home, so they could have the worst life at home or the one of the best. Either way no one has a right to be mean and cruel to a person because he/she was having a bad day.
This is what causes suicide or school shootings. All because (mostly) the popular kids were only thinking of themselves and they’re social life instead. But another thing to think about is, what about the popular people’s problems? Of course not all of them would have the best family life. Just think of all the teenage soup operas out there about all the rich teens have problems with their overly selfish parents. Example from the popular series, Gossip Girl, Nathaniel’s parents have money problems and since Nate’s with Blair, (Note this is from the first season.) his dad thinks that when they get married, that Blair’s mother would have to help them because they would be legal family. But when Nate doesn’t like Blair anymore, his father forces him to continue dating her. Popular kid’s problems might be similar to that, like using their kids’ social status at school to gain money somehow… it still doesn’t give the popular kids a right to bully emo people, or anyone for that matter.
That’s why mostly emo people (or anyone) come(s) to school with a gun and shoot all the people that have ruined their lives. Then they shoot themselves. If they do that, then yeah, they might have a problem but maybe, like me, they keep everything inside without shedding any anger and then one day they can’t take it any longer and they just snap. And later feel bad for it, which would get them even madder.
Another thing bullying causes (for anyone), is self harming. I’m not picking anybody out, but it is usually emo or goth people. Lot’s of people, mainly parents, think the cause is the heavy, sad, screaming music they listen to. Maybe it is. But in the end it is always for a reason. And if you are a parent with a kid that self harms themselves, it MAY BE YOU FAULT AND/ OR IN YOUR CONCERN. I have absolutely no known idea what that really means. Well, one of the reasons they do it is because they’re lonely. They’re probably, depressed, confused, tired, angry, anxious, bipolar, and may hate their life. Parent, adults or anyone for this matter, DO NOT TELL THEM LIFE WILL GET BETTER! Why? Well then try it yourself! My mother does it all the time and all it does is piss me off so much, it’s insane. Try to put off being positive when they’re really in a negative, depressed mood. NEVER SAY YOU UNDERSTAND THEM. It also may get them really anger and will cause them to tell you hurtful things about you and will get you angry. Try to just stay with them for a while without talking. Only talk if they ask you. When they do talk they may open up and tell you that they have been cutting themselves. (You might already know that they cut themselves but let them talk). When they tell you this NEVER, I REPEAT, NEVER SAY THESE EXACT OR SIMILAR WORDS: YOU CUT YOURSELF. It makes them feel like crying from hearing the truth come out another person’s mouth and makes them feel pathetic and weak. They may get angry and will not want to talk to you. Anther thing to note is to not be sarcastic with them when they are telling you how they feel. When they are in one of their rare happy moods or whenever they are not sad, act more like a friend than a parent. It will also make them trust you way more than ever before, since they remember how happy and joyful you are to be around.
In one of an emos’ sad mood when they are telling they want to die (which might be for attention, just never tell them that you think so), or if they tell you they have problems and need help, NEVER SAY THEY ARE JUST FINE. THEY MAY THINK YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THEM IN THEIR SADDEST MOMENTS. Also, NEVER SAY THEY NEED HELP. THEY MAY THINK YOU THINK THAT THEY HAVE PROBLEMS AND YOU WANT TO SEND THEM AWAY. Though then if they truly need help, then how will you give it to them? I’d say one of the best ways to mention that they should see a mental doctor is when they are happy and only if you have ALL THE INFORMATION ON THE DOCTOR YOU WOULD WANT YOUR KID TO SEE. Have all the papers and make sure you have free time so you can maybe take your kid on a tour of the doctor office so you will maybe get your kid to meet the doctor. That may work, but it depends on the mood timing.
This is one more thing to note. When coming home from work or anything for that matter after when your kid has been left alone for the day (Or had a busy/bad day at school), try not to complain or be so-fake-it’s-easy-to-tell, try being calm and workless and just relax for a while. (I’m sure all of you love that idea.) You could talk to them, but try not to mention homework/school/your day at work until later, it may depress them. Maybe ask them what they might like for dinner.
Remember that something caused this depression and the main reasons are, divorce, family matters, loss, bullying, neglected, abuse, verbal abuse, cyber bullying, rumors, hormones, lack of confidence, and more. All of this stuff makes me extremely sad and I wish everyone could be happier.
I wish there was a place where we could be truly free and in harmony. But that is an impossible wish.
ANYWAYS I was ranting forever about emo people and whatever. It started out to be a story about a person who is watching popular girls. The point is that every kid has problems, some worse than others and some people refuse or are completely oblivious to it. Please just confront the problem and let everyone live lighter. Always be nice to someone even on the worst of your days. Guaranteed there might someone who will always remember your act of kindness and will try and be like you. It gives people hope and a will to live even if you don’t know it.
The reason I put “let everyone live lighter” is because when you are sad, depressed or guilty, you usually feel a heavy weight on your chest. Some people feel this every day which is why I want everyone to feel lighter. I just had to get that cleared.
Why I know all this information is based on what happened and how I feel through my life. I recommend trying this with your kids since the information is coming from a kid (me). So why not listen to what kids are saying? I think it’s worth a shot when you don’t know what to do.
Long enough, eh?
Amy
Monday, December 22, 2008
A Short Story
So today I was looking through my journals and I came across of lots of poems, short stories, and my opinions. I decided to type a select few on the computer and post one of my favourites on here. I have no title for it and a warning is that its completely cheesy and cliche so don't say I didn't warn you. Oh, I also discovered a couple of my pen drawings that I will fix up and get them scanned so I can post them on here. Anyways here it is...
Can you care about me for once?
As my ink bleeds through the pages of my thoughts
should I even trust anymore?
Your lips form words, throwing daggers at my throat.
Will you still laugh as I lay here dying?
My voice chokes within me squeezing every last stuttered gasp out.
Will you believe me as I give my stitched heart away?
Your hands grasped me against you roughly, my body screaming with the passion on contact.
Why were lies retold?
Wet streaming salt water sizzled as it reached the barrier of my skin.
Never will I be able to love you again like before.
My eyes mirrored yours as rain fell in harmony with our tears.
Will we ever be?
My hands grasped your neck closer, our body heat radiating off each other, sharing every beat.
Won’t you stop whispering sweet nothings even though my pulse skids?
Your voice began and lies came through your teeth.
Can you even remember to leave my heart on the doorstep after your done stabbing it?
Your lips failed to see my reaction as you tasted me; my soul swooping in and out of the sky as my legs give.
Will you stop being so goddamn perfect?
Your willing arms caught my falling legs and wrapped them around yourself.
I wonder…
My mouth responds, opening an entrance to explore.
Does love really have to be this complicated?
“Yes it does, sweetie,” You whisper against my lips.
Our bodies tangled and lips glued together
the rain, cooling off all that’s been burned and the sun peaking through, causing a rainbow to form has tamed our beautiful disaster.
I love her.
I love him.
Wasn't that the most cheesiest thing ever? Sorry, but I had to post it to see what you guys thought. I also own it so no takey.
Amy
P.S Know matter how much I love Christmas, I rather not have it this year :(
Can you care about me for once?
As my ink bleeds through the pages of my thoughts
should I even trust anymore?
Your lips form words, throwing daggers at my throat.
Will you still laugh as I lay here dying?
My voice chokes within me squeezing every last stuttered gasp out.
Will you believe me as I give my stitched heart away?
Your hands grasped me against you roughly, my body screaming with the passion on contact.
Why were lies retold?
Wet streaming salt water sizzled as it reached the barrier of my skin.
Never will I be able to love you again like before.
My eyes mirrored yours as rain fell in harmony with our tears.
Will we ever be?
My hands grasped your neck closer, our body heat radiating off each other, sharing every beat.
Won’t you stop whispering sweet nothings even though my pulse skids?
Your voice began and lies came through your teeth.
Can you even remember to leave my heart on the doorstep after your done stabbing it?
Your lips failed to see my reaction as you tasted me; my soul swooping in and out of the sky as my legs give.
Will you stop being so goddamn perfect?
Your willing arms caught my falling legs and wrapped them around yourself.
I wonder…
My mouth responds, opening an entrance to explore.
Does love really have to be this complicated?
“Yes it does, sweetie,” You whisper against my lips.
Our bodies tangled and lips glued together
the rain, cooling off all that’s been burned and the sun peaking through, causing a rainbow to form has tamed our beautiful disaster.
I love her.
I love him.
Wasn't that the most cheesiest thing ever? Sorry, but I had to post it to see what you guys thought. I also own it so no takey.
Amy
P.S Know matter how much I love Christmas, I rather not have it this year :(
Saturday, December 6, 2008
An Artistic Post
I am 13 years old and I love to draw. I will post some of my work on my blog for you to see. One of the reasons I draw is because of Alex Pardee. He is my favourite artist. My first piece I'm going to post is called 'Death At Old Age'. I don't really know why I chose that name, it just came to me.
I will also might post some of my poetry/songs (though, they are not very good) and possibly my stories and opinions on things.
I will also might post some of my poetry/songs (though, they are not very good) and possibly my stories and opinions on things.
P.S You can not copy my picture and say you made it. All rights are mine.
Amy.
Amy.
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